Insatiable

This whole concept of “together forever” and “happily ever after” might be the biggest bullshit the world has ever conjured. Let me tell you something, some of the worst days of your life will be when you are the loneliest. No one will ever be by your side 24×7, not even mentally and emotionally. Many battles in life are waged alone. Probably the only friend who is always going to hang around is God. We always expect. I have always expected, that so and so was going to be around, was never going to let me down, was going to show me gratitude. But time and again I’ve been proved wrong. I’ve fought my battles alone. The truth is, sometimes, when those who have given birth to you don’t care about you, your fate is sealed. You’re wasting your time waiting for and expecting others to understand your core being. Humans are limited. The only love close to God’s selfless love is a mother’s, but when that has not been given to you, rest assured you’re an orphan till you hit the grave. Everyone is putting up with you with an inner motive. Some motives are selfish and self-centred while some are for mutual gain. The more your heart gets broken, the more your heart learns to be stronger, to be independent, to depend less on others and to rely solely on God for strength, help and companionship. As a woman, it is so important to look upto God, to keep yourself embedded in Him. The more you look up to Him, the more satiated you will feel.

The world will never look at you with gratitude, for it will be ever ready to point at the flaws they see within you. You could pour out your soul to do the best possible for everyone, yet you will be deemed the worst. Gratitude and appreciation are expensive personalities that we cannot expect from cheap people. But God appreciates our efforts, our sacrifices and sees our daily struggles. Therefore do not let human attitudes discourage you. Every man reaps what he sows in God’s timing. We must only do what’s right and move ahead, God blesses the rest with his best. Read the below excerpt from the Bible to know that you are never alone in your battles. Many have already walked and still many more are yet to walk your path. Take heart!

Psalm 41:5-12 KJV

Mine enemies speak evil of me, When shall he die, and his name perish? And if he come to see me, he speaketh vanity: his heart gathereth iniquity to itself; when he goeth abroad, he telleth it. All that hate me whisper together against me: against me do they devise my hurt. An evil disease, say they, cleaveth fast unto him: and now that he lieth he shall rise up no more. Yea, mine own familiar friend, in whom I trusted, which did eat of my bread, hath lifted up his heel against me. But thou, O LORD, be merciful unto me, and raise me up, that I may requite them. By this I know that thou favourest me, because mine enemy doth not triumph over me. And as for me, thou upholdest me in mine integrity, and settest me before thy face for ever.

This is an excerpt from the Bible. If anyone asks me who my favourite personality from the Bible is, it’s David. A man like me, passionate, flawed, forgotten, abandoned, falsely hated, feared, forsaken, empathetic, God fearing, the list of similarities is endless. In the above passage he states his extreme disappointment and rightfully so. If it had been his enemy that had hurt him it would have been easy for him to move ahead but it was his very loved friend, someone he trusted, someone he dined with, someone he relied on, someone from whom he hoped for mutual reciprocation of affection. I don’t think there would be any other man in the Bible who took his friendships so seriously. He loved Jonathan beyond himself and that friendship extended to the next generation. So we can understand why a close friend betraying him caused him so much agony. I’ve seen myself at this juncture so so many times because I’ve taken all my relationships very seriously.

At the end of the passage David turns to God for justice and salvation. He realizes that in the end it’s always going to be God and him and that God would never forsake him, that he’s got his back. In the Bible there are numerous other places where it teaches us never to trust in humans, not even the ones right beside us. There could not have been a wiser lesson. May we all learn to rely solely on the faithful one and stop flaunting about people because they are only a facade. One day when that facade comes crashing down, you will be devastated. Always remember human beings are insatiable. It’s better to lean on the eternal pillar, our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ.

The Prosperity Gospel – An Obscure Blur

Child like faith was easy. When I was a child I believed on the Almighty easily, I prayed in faith and I always received an affirmative answer for whatever I prayed for. The relationship then was simple. God was my father, I could ask Him anything I had need of and I had faith that He would do it for me.

I grew up and everything took a turn for the worse. Every western preacher I saw on TV was preaching that God was there to fulfill all our needs and that as His children we never had to face any lack. Those preachers themselves were filthy rich, driving the most expensive cars, flying in private jets and living in mansions. I came from a broken home where I had no firm spiritual foundation laid. My mother was a demigod or so she believed of herself. The rest of us were the worst sinners alive, there was no room for love. God was a tyrant and the devil was residing inside us.

My thoughts on God were so messed up. I have no idea what I believed in. For a few years in my early twenties I refused to have anything to do with Christians and the Bible because of the vast number of hypocrites I encountered within the church. After that I realized that I needed to look at Christ and not at Christians. So once again I got back into the Bible.

Fast forward to my thirties and there was so much condemnation of prosperity preachers and rightly so. Ministry was all about wealth and nothing else and at times it did anger me. But it also left me confused. Where do we draw the line between need and greed? Is asking for healing a selfish prayer? When there’s a financial deficit should we just bear it if we are true Christians? So many questions haunted me. The entire picture of a father-daughter relationship became tainted.

I am definitely against flamboyance in Christian ministry. But I’m not at all in agreement with those preachers who make following Christ sound like a walk to the slaughter house. Both types take Christianity to two extremes which is heartbreaking. Just because I follow Christ doesn’t mean I’ve to stop living my life on earth and think only of heavenly matters. If so, then why did God leave so many instructions in the Bible for this earthly life? Some preachers even go on to say that we must pray for God’s will during times of sicknesses and not for healing alone. However, nowhere in the Bible does it say ask for heavenly things while being earthly unwell. All throughout the Bible many have pleaded at the feet of God for their earthly needs. Hannah, King David, Joseph, Esther are just a few of them who have done so.

My mother always ignored her earthly duties by using God’s name in vain. She still believes she’s on her way to heaven. But it is the Lord who has assigned to us our earthly duties, which we have to do faithfully till our time here is done. He never asked us to forsake our earthly responsibilities and always think about Him. Also he never said follow me and I’ll make you rich, wealthy and famous. His words were “Store up for yourselves treasures in heaven where moth and rust do not corrupt.” That means every single deed of ours is taken into account. We are not here to amass great wealth but we can surely put forth our needs as petitions before our Maker. It’s the motive that counts.

How free does one feel with their father? I remember any time I needed something from my father I had to go through my mother and she hardly conveyed my needs across. In prayer life some folks often get stuck in a similar pattern. They often feel inferior to preachers and so called prayer warriors. They feel they can reach God only through them. But that’s far from true. A true relationship is one where the communication is direct and one to one. It cannot be directed through a medium. Any communication that goes through a medium is not genuine and sincere. So it’s best to keep a check on how we’re approaching God and to beware of regarding certain humans too highly in our journey with God.

I do pray and hope that a lot of preachers who portray the right picture of a parent- child relationship between God and us, will rise up. This is the need of the hour. Preachers who bring clarity not confusion, comfort not chaos, who preach the Bible not blabber. May they be true to God’s calling and sincere in serving the Lord faithfully and fervently with no worldly motives.

The Plight of Christian Ministry

Most Christian ministries are busy building their own fame and showing off, they have no time to minister to the needs of the people.

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